07 August 2009

Potential.

"'I want to be able to be your friend' is teacher's code for, 'Tell me your secrets so I can spread them among the teachers'. It's always a lie, and if you made friends with a teacher, something's wrong."
-Phim.

Phim is an odd friend of mine. Returning to school, Phim has become a man to avoid but a friend all in all. He has taught me strange lessons, things I was sure I would never need to know only to have them be discussed later in my life. Phim is a many of many words but few sentences, of intelligent mind but zero work ethic, of ADHD and Ritalin. Phim could be a famous philosopher if he would just calm down.

I discuss Phim if only because he is the most likely the weirdest person I have ever met - though he often claims, "I'm not weird, just misunderstood," which is probably the case. I've only known him a little over a year, but already I can see the potential in him if he'd just try to access it.

This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for his blatant disregard for such ideas. He knows his potential - he laughs in its face! - and he refuses to do anything with it. And it baffles me. As a teenager struggling with unlocking my own potential and planning my future accordingly, his "whatever" attitude is so... strange. To me, at least. Maybe you can relate. He deserved a little piece of spotlight, however, because each day he baffles me, a feat not so easily accomplished.

Now onto more important matters. And
for the record, all names are changed for the sake of anonymity. So Phim isn't actually named Phim.

My name is none of your business, but my penname is Ink. I enjoy writing, and if I were ever to publish anything, my pseudonym would be Kevin Littrell, despite the fact that I am very much a woman, uterus intact. I love men, and I love women; I love language, and I love silence. I like just about anything and anyone; you can't offend me or make me hate you. My views are set and solid, but I appreciate a good debate. Really, it's all personal opinion to me. And opinions are not fact. So don't act like they are.

I've got problems, sure. Everyone does. I'm an emotional stressed teenage girl in a country that's flailing in the deep end of the pool without floaties. I'm from a hick town and lack the funds for cool clothes or styles. My life's boring.

That's why I love writing.

I can write about a world where girls just as boring do the great things I only dream of. I can write to inspire people to follow their strangest dreams (and I don't mean those where Pyramid Head is chasing Maria, Harry Mason, and their awkward love child through a hotel I never realized I worked at while a burly black guy tells me who's going to die next while a goblin follows as a save point). I can brighten the world just a little with the invigorating power of language. And I'm happy with that.

I can also complain about my life, which is fun for me. So... expect that. Lots of that. Next entry will come eventually. I have thoughts to gather before I spill my guts to you all.

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